Feeling selfish

So, I totally understand that people who haven’t had children going through major surgeries can’t really understand what it is like.  I get that.  But, I hate that some make me feel selfish when I fuss over Miss M (not all, just a few, who really just don’t get it).  When I dropped the kiddos off at daycare this morning, I heard that there is a baby in her room who was throwing up, and there might be a stomach flu going around.  I said “Oh, poor baby D (sick baby).  I really hope Miss M doesn’t get it, her surgery is two weeks from tomorrow.” And the teacher said “we hope that none of the babies get sick”.  I held my tongue, but I really wanted to go into a ten minute explanation about why it would be particularly terrible for Miss M to get a stomach flu at some point within the next 2 weeks.  And now I just want to cry b/c I am thinking of all of those reasons, but I know to say them all out loud doesn’t help me *not* look selfish.

I don’t know how I’m going to make it through the next 2 weeks.  This is Maddie’s 3rd surgery, and will be her 18 and 19th nights at the hospital in her first year, (assuming she doesn’t get a stomach flu immediately before and we have to postpone), we are old pros at this, but we haven’t had great pre-op/hospital/post-op experiences.  And I’m just feeling like I’m going to lose it.

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