Separation anxiety

You’re doing great right now, Miss M.  You’ve been putting on over a pound a month, which is well above the standard growth curve, you were at the 3rd percentile for weight when you were 6 months old, and now at 9 months you are closing in on the 10th percentile!  It’s amazing what an extra 20% in calories will do (fortifying your formula to 24 calories/oz).  Other than the occasional ear infection or teething pain, you seem to be feeling well, too.  With one exception.  You’ve started to develop separation anxiety.  Don’t get me wrong, you have never liked being left on your own – actually, that is getting better now, and sometimes you’ll hang out on your playmat for up to an hour (provided there is suitable entertainment).  But you were cool with anyone holding you, as long as there was a warm body and a friendly smile.  But now, you’ve started crying when I leave you at daycare.  Actually, you cry when we enter the room because you know I’m going to leave you there.  And that’s so hard for your momma, baby girl.  I work because it’s what I know.  I’ve never thought of myself as the stay-at-home mom-type, to be honest.  I get bored of baby coos, tired of your brother’s endless 3 year old games.  But I am having some separation anxiety myself – I’m worried that your childhood is going to be over too quickly.  That I’m going to miss it and regret it.  Just quit work – if only it were that easy.  Your daddy wants to make sure both you and your brother can afford college, and that we can afford retirement and future medical bills.  Quitting work feels like walking off a cliff into the unknown.  I don’t know if I’d be able to make this career climb again, and I’m certain that I will want to when you and your brother are in school and have less time for me.  So I guess I’ve been feeling some separation anxiety of my own.  Trying to figure out how to be all things to all people – a partner to your dad, a productive employee to my work, and a good mom to you and your brother.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

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    Mar 23, 2012 @ 04:24:59

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